How to Pronounce Woke Smeed

How to Pronounce Good evening, and welcome to Tucker Carlson Tonight. We're about to embark on a journey to uncover the real truth, the one that's being hidden from you by the radical woke agenda. Hold onto your seats, because we're going to expose the sinister world of wokeness that threatens the very fabric of our society.

How to Pronounce Tucker Carlson & Good evening everyone, and welcome to the show. We have a lot to cover today, especially after the great presentation by Lord Desantis. But before we get into that there is something I want to get off my chest. Recently you may have heard that Derek and Martha Johnson have passed away, which is heartbreaking. These two were pillars of their community and always fought for what was right. If only the left-wing media did not target them for what was a small mistake. I mean come on, it was a small ad. These liberals can't control themselves. They saw one mess up by a prominent right-wing business couple and drove them to suicide. How can we as Americans just stand by and let this happen? Unfortunately, this will just become more and more common as the moral fabric of the United States gets torn down by high-profile communists like Alexandra Ocasio Ortez and Kamala Harris. It is time we take a stand against these woke moralists and show them what true patriotism is. Luckily we have corporations like Praise Big Koala which stand in the way of these left-wing lunatics and promote true American ideals..... Coming up after the break, do you need consent to drink dog cum?

How to Pronounce Shit! Yo! Juss wakin' up in tha mornnin', gotta thank God I don't know but today seems kinda odd No barkin' from the dog, no smog And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog I got my grub on, but didn't pig out Finally got a call from a girl I wanna dig out Hooked it up fo' later as I hit the do' Thinkin', "Will I live another twenty-fo'?" I gotta go 'cause I got me a drop top And if I hit the switch, I can make the ass drop Had to stop, at a red light Lookin' in my mirror, not a jacker in sight And everything is alright I got a beep from Kym, and she can fuck all night Called up the homies and I'm akksin' y'all Which park, are y'all playin' basketball? Get me on the court and I'm trouble Last week fucked around and got a triple-double Freakin' niggas every way like M.J. I can't believe, today was a good day Drove to the pad, and hit the showers Didn't even get no static from them cowards 'Caus jus' yesterday, dem fools tried ta blast me Saw da police, and they rolled right past me No flexin', didn't even look in a nigga's direction As I ran the intersection Went to Short Dog's house, they was watchin' Yo! MTV Raps What's the 'haps on the craps? Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em! Roll 'em in a circle of niggas, and watch me break 'em Wit' tha seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven Seven, even Back Do' Lil' Joe I picked up the cash flow Then we played bones, and I'm yellin' "Domino!" Plus nobody I know got killed in South Central L.A. Today was a good day (Shit!) Left my nigga's house paid Picked up a girl been tryynta fuck since the twelth grade It's ironic, I had the brew, she had the chronic The Lakers beat the Supersonics I felt on her big fat fanny Pulled out the jammy and killed the punanni And my dick runs deep, so deep, so deep Put her ass to sleep Woke her up around one She didn't hesitate to call Ice Cube the top gun Drove her to the pad and I'm coastin' Took another sip of the potion, hit the three-wheel motion I was glad everything had worked out Dropped her ass off, and then chirped out Today was like one of those fly dreams Didn't even see a Barry flashin' those high beams No helicopter looking for a murder Two in tha mornnin', got tha Fat Burger Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp And it read, "Ice Cube's a pimp!" Drunk as hell, but no thowwin' up Halfway home, and my pager's still blowwin' up Today, I diddn't even havvta use my AK I gotta say it was a good day (Shhhhit!)

How to Pronounce I was woken by an embarrassed giggle. “You’re not supposed to be awake. I must be really bad at this. Maybe I should try another time?” I looked toward the silhouette of a girl standing in front of the window, the curtains breathing softly behind her. I tried to stay calm but I could feel a twinge of panic as I addressed her form “Who are you? How did you get in my room?” “Ah, of course,” I heard her voice drip with a playful tone, “I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Lilie, and I am a succubus.” My eyes had adjusted to the darkness now and I could see her full figure now. If this was a cosplay, it would be a really well done one. Her purple outfit seemed to accentuate her curves and the empty space between the criss-cross of fabric proudly displayed her cleavage and pale belly. Her thighs seemed to glow in the basking moonlight as the flesh was highlighted between her tiny bottom and stockings. Topping off her somewhat immodest dress were two tiny little horns that snuggled atop her red hair and the soft movement of her wings and tail behind her peeking out from the cutouts in her clothes. “I’m sure you’ve heard of us succubi,” Lilie continued as she slowly walked towards me, one leg in front of the other, crossing them slowly and deliberately as she inched forward, “As a succubus we have sex with humans as our nourishment, but we usually do so in their dreams, when they’re asleep. It seems I’ve screwed up this time.” She was inches in front of me now as she ran a finger from my waist up to my neck. “But I wonder how it’ll feel if my prey is conscious.” I felt myself pushed up against the wall as Lilie slowly ran a finger from my waist upward until it rested at my neck. I could almost feel a twinge of electricity at the path she traced. Lilie’s coy smile curled into a smug grin as she leaned up on her toes to bring her face closer to mine. I could hear my heart beat as I stared down at her face illuminated in the moonlight. Her batting eyelashes seemed to tease me. I swallowed to try and regain my composure but all I could hear was my pounding heart and smell the soft fragrance of some kind of fruit I couldn’t recognize. It felt like I was staring at her face for hours before either of us broke the silence. “What’s wrong? Are you afraid? If you are, why don’t you just try closing your eyes?” Lilie’s playful giggle seemed like a command and I could feel my eyelids descending as her face got closer and closer… It started with a warm softness pressed up against my lips. I could feel her tongue testing and caressing my lips-inviting them to open which I did with a bit of hesitation. I was surprised by the almost forcefulness of her tongue as it entered my mouth exploring every inch of mine, forcefully overwhelming me. I could feel myself blanking out as I tried to get a breath… Lilie let out a satisfied breath, licking her lips. Somehow after that exchange I was now lying on my bed with her seated atop me. Where she was sitting was no accident and she made sure to demonstrate that. “Mmm, yes,” Lilie whispered, licking her lips as she rocked back and forth grinding herself on me, “We succubi sometimes need an offering, just some bodily fluids from a human to start this process. It lets us get to intimately know someone’s thoughts so that we might transform into what they desire most. Now let’s see what is it that you desire.” I could feel myself getting harder and harder but Lilie made no effort to either stop or speed up, continuing her process of rubbing herself on my erection, occasionally twisting and gyrating her body in such a way that made me want to burst. “Yes, yes,” Lilie continued, smacking her lips a little, “I think I have a pretty good idea of what you’re into now. And now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I think I’m going to have my way with you n-” Lilie was no longer sitting upright on me but now on top of me. “Huh? Why can’t I move? What’s-” I could see Lilie’s look of surprise as she looked at her shoulders which were now completely smooth and devoid of arms. “My arms! Where are my arms?!” Lilie gave a startled scream and tried to push herself up but only succeeded in pressing her breasts against my chest as she squirmed and struggled. “I-is this what you’re into? Armless girls? Really?” In her attempts at getting up Lilie only succeeded in rolling herself off of me. I took this opportunity to move and be the one pinning her down now. “T-this is definitely a first for me, I didn’t expect something like this would happen at all!” Lilie let out a frustrated half groan, half moan. I watched as her shoulder moved a little as if she was trying to hide her face which was getting redder and redder with a blush. “Well, I guess I don’t mind it too much, as succubi are willing to go to any lengths to satisfy their...prey, but being armless like this, I feel so helpless and it’s honestly making me feel a bit weird...hey, stop staring at me like that! Do you like seeing an armless girl like this? Wait, you do! You do! Stop giving me that look, it’s as if I’m the one that’s the prey now!” The straps from her top had now fallen loose with nothing holding them up, her top was sliding off to reveal her breasts and one nipple was already almost out. “Well? Are you going to just keep staring at this armless succubus or are you actually going to do something about this helpless girl in front of you? You do know I still have my legs right?” As if to remind me, she pressed up her foot against my still stiff member and gave it a playful tease. As I bent down to pull her bottom off, I was stopped by her resting foot on my head. “Wait, before you do that, come up for a moment.” I stared at Lilie’s beautiful face nestled between two smooth armless shoulders. “Oh this is totally embarrassing since I don’t have arms and can’t do it myself but...before that, can you, um, can you kiss me again?” I didn’t need a second thought. Once again I felt myself her tongue wrap against mine, her armlessness evidently not changing her personality while kissing. As I felt my tongue melt into hers, Lilie had also wrapped her remaining limbs, her legs, around me, pulling me closer and closer into her. There was that same fiery passion as before that threatened to drag me in and consume me completely. I took a moment to catch my breath as I slowly lifted my lips from hers, a thin strand of saliva still hanging for a fraction of a second before falling away. We stared at each other in silence for a while as I listened to the soft sounds of Lilie’s breathing before she tightened her leg lock and leaned her small body closer to me as she whispered into my ear, “You better take responsibility for making me like this. Especially now that I’m totally helpless.” I could no longer feel Lilie’s legs wrapped around my waist as they too had now disappeared. Lilie looked smaller than ever as she wiggled on the bed with her clothes dangerously close to falling off her tiny frame. Pulling off her bottom was seamless as they slid off her smooth legless hips revealing her soft lower lips. I brushed aside her tail that she tried in vain to cover herself with and stared at my prize. It seemed to be swelling and pulsing as if it was crying out for me, and as I reached to bring my hand closer- “Come on! You’ve stared enough already! Do you know how embarrassing this is? Being limbless and revealed like this?” Lilie’s pussy seemed to twitch as she wiggled on the bed in frustration. “Fuck me already!” Lilie was silent as I prepared to enter her but she surprised me by suddenly shifting her weight so that I was plunged into her all at once. I heard a sharp uptake of air before Lilie let out a very satisfied breath that was almost a moan in pleasure. Lilie was warm, very warm, and being within her was like being in a fire that caressed and licked at me in waves of pleasure. It felt like I could feel her very heartbeat pounding and echoing through her as I was inside her. “C-come on, don’t just stand there, y-you’re fucking me remember?” Lilie stammered through her words a bit, “Use me like I’m the limbless fucktoy that I am now!” Indeed, Lilie’s tiny body was very reminiscent of a fucktoy, with no arms and legs but only her pussy adorning the end of her smooth and legless hips. I put my hands around her smooth shoulders and started moving. Each thrust seemed to reverberate pulses of pleasure between the two of us. “Yes! Yes! Yes! Fuck me! More! Use me!” Lilie’s moans of pleasure echoed in my ears as I continued to user her soft supple body. Her tiny limbless body seemed hypnotic as it constantly drew me in and out of her. “W-wait,” Lilie managed to blurt out, “Do you think you could, um, pick me up?” To say she was light would be an understatement, but I was still surprised that I was now staring at the limbless succubus that was resting on my cock. “I’ve always wanted to try doing something like this, but I don’t have arms or legs right now so I can’t even put them around you. Do you think I can-? Hmmm, maybe…” I could see her starining her shoulders. She was trying to move her tiny wings so that they could reach me from behind her. It was a bit embarrassing feeling myself getting even harder inside her as I watched her struggle. “Don’t worry about it,” I said, as I put my arms around her, “I’ll just hold you enough for the both of us.” I squeezed her into a deep hug as I continued to fuck her. Lilie’s wings flapped energetically as I watched her face deep in ecstasy. Lilie’s tail was also whipping back and forth, and I couldn’t help but reach a hand around it, grabbing one of her remaining body parts. Lilie let out a yelp and I could feel her immediately tighten up, clamping down on me with such a force that I didn’t even have time to react before exploding inside her. “Hehe~” the limbless succubus whispered as she lay on top of me, “thanks for the meal~” ************************************************************************************************************* It was not the sun that woke me up, but the soft rustling of sheets next to me. I watched as Lilie tried to brush the hair from her face with a tiny arm stump. “You’re still here? I thought succubi were the demons of the night.” I yawned before brushing aside the lock of hair that was on her face. Lilie’s eyes slowly blinked a few times before focusing on me. “Well, maybe if someone wasn’t weird and liked amputee girls I could have actually left!” Lilie examined her tiny stumps, barely a few inches long. “Even after all that last night I haven’t even regrown my limbs up to the joints! Ugh! This is all your fault you know!” Lilie flopped onto me with the vantage granted by her tiny leg stumps. “Since this is all your fault, you better be responsible and feed me a lot more! Got it?”

How to Pronounce It was the end of the day and Mark was a bit tired but eager to get on his computer and check the messages on the dating site. In recent days he had sent quite a few messages out to various people and had gotten a few replies. He had done his best to follow up on every single one of them. He wasn't one for Tinder as he was looking for a legitimate, thought out relationship with someone rather than just a quick hook up. Looking at all of the apps that were offered he didn't feel that many were very good. They all seemed to be based around quick relationships and hook ups. Instead he focused his time on building a solid profile and responding on a computer so that he could properly read and respond to each girl. However with the best of intentions things weren't going very well. He went to his messages and found no new replies. Over the course of the last week of the few girls that responded to him fewer and fewer kept the conversation going. Mark had made sure to try different tactics with each one all based on their profiles and messages. The girls that seemed to send longer more thought out messages he went along with and tried his best to have a solid back and forth conversation to get to know them better, these usually lasted a few days before asking for a number or asking them out. The ones with shorter more to the point messages he would jump on within a day. He would even reverse it a few times for good measure. He expected denials but instead would just have the girl drop the conversation entirely, mostly only a few messages in and even before he could ask them out. There was one girl however that he seemed to have hit it off with pretty well, they had been talking for close to a week now and she seemed to share most of his interests and hobbies. It was almost like talking to himself. Earlier in the week he had asked if she wanted to meet up, not long after she had said yes. She went on to say she'd let him know about the weekend. Mark figured if he had to go months of flaky people denying him and ghosting him for one to say yes it might be worth it. However it seemed that he had once again been ghosted. It was Friday now and his last messages to her was on Wednesday saying: "No problem, let me know which day works for you. I'm free the whole weekend and I have a few ideas for places we could go." When she didn't respond to it on Wednesday he followed up with a quick message to try and keep the conversation going in the meantime about one of their shared interests. He had hoped Friday would bring her back to the conversation being the start of the weekend but no. Nothing he could do now, it was pretty obvious the girl on the other side wasn't going to respond. He scrolled through his inbox. It was filled with failures on every level. He closed his web browser and sat there in defeat. He pulled out his phone. Perhaps a change was in order. Maybe he should give apps like Tinder a try, it couldn't hurt. Sure it was more based around hook ups and casual sex but perhaps he could find like minded people on there or try and start something more serious from something casual. He quickly downloaded the app and opened it up. Mark thought to himself, "This is it, right now I'm gonna make a nice, catchy profile but keep it simple. It's going to be good and its going to be appealing. People will swipe right for me and may even initiate the conversation". He opened it up and was prompted to sign in with Facebook. He quickly pressed it and bare bones profile came up. However something was off, where Mark, 27 should be there was Melissa, 22. And instead of his Facebook profile's picture there was a hot blonde in a skimpy dress showing off her big ass with a duck face. Mark couldn't help but laugh, he quickly signed out of it and tried again. However it was the same thing when he signed back in. This was getting weird. He uninstalled the app and reinstalled it. Same thing. What the fuck? As unlikely as it sounded maybe this chick used his phone to check her Facebook and forgot to sign out. He opened up Facebook and sure enough a Melissa account popped up. He scrolled through the account. This girl was smoking hot but didn't have much else going on. Her account was filled with stupid status' ranging from how she can't find the right guy to saying how horny she was. She seemed to have no filter or she was fishing for a fuck. As hot as it was this Melissa was not what Mark was into. Any of his friends would ridicule him for that sort of sentiment but he just wasn't interested. He quickly signed out of the account and attempted to sign into his but was unable. He tried resetting his password but it said his email didn't match any accounts. What was going on? During all of this Mark didn't take notice that he was beginning to change. Fixated on trying to troubleshoot his social media problems he had failed to realize that his hair was now the same color blonde and was slowly inching down towards his shoulders. Mark shut his phone off and turned it back on. Before he could do anything Tinder reopened to this Melissa's profile. There were more pictures now of her. They were all very seductive or slutty ranging from her laying ass up on a beach in a small bikini to her taking a selfie in a bathroom mirror in nothing but a towel. Mark was getting a little nervous something was going on. He put his phone down and stood up, that's when he felt his hair hit against him. He quickly moved his hand and felt it. Immediately he ran to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. Starring back at him was the face of Melissa. Holy fuck! How could he not have felt this? His face was now so soft, so clean. His eyes were now light blue and surrounded by eyeliner. His lips were small but plump, a light pink lipstick on them. This wasn't good, this couldn't be happening. How was this possible? Suddenly he felt a slight tingling in this throat and before he could figure out what it was his Adam's Apple was gone. Mark knew what that meant. He had to do something. Tinder! That's what was causing all of this, at least it was what likely started it. He ran back to his phone which now was in a pink phone case with a tassel of beads hanging from a small loop on one of the corners. He picked it up and opened it. His background was now Melissa on a beach hugging another girl. Both of their breasts pushing up against one another. No! Mark thought, this has to stop now! He pressed down on Tinder and deleted it. The icon disappeared only for it to reappear immediately. He tried again, it just kept reinstalling. Shit this was bad. He suddenly felt like his view was lowering, sure enough he was losing height. He went from 6'1 to 5'4 in a matter of moments. What can I do? I need to do something! Mark thought to himself. Panic was beginning to set in. An idea. He quickly went to his computer and woke it up. His background another slutty beach picture. He went to his dating site and sure enough his account had changed also to that of Melissa's. He quickly read through her information. This girl was only out for sex. Her profile told basic information about her. She worked at a salon and in her spare time loved going to bars, dancing, clubbing and concerts. He scrolled down to the looking for section "guys ages 21-40 for new friends, sex and short term dating. Mark began to really panic now. Quickly he tried to edit the page info back to his old one but each time he finished a section and saved it would revert back to Melissa's. He opened up Tinder again and her profile was filled out now. Heyyyy I'm Melissa. I work at a salon and am an expert at all things makeup. I lovvveee going to clubs, bars and concerts. I'm just a party girl at heart :) <3 Give me your best pickup lines. Buy me drinks and take me to a show and I promise to make it up to you ;) If you treat me right your biggest concern should be your place or mine? As Mark read this he felt his whole body begin to burn. It was getting really hot and his clothes started to hurt on his skin. He tried to resist it but relented after a moment. Quickly he stripped all of them off and felt immediate relief. To his horror though as he looked down he couldn't see a single hair on his body. His legs and arms were now slim and smooth and he had a perfect hourglass figure. He looked up and saw that his room was now adorned with girls clothing, makeup and pictures of Melissa and her friends. "No! No! Stop, please stop!" Mark picked up his laptop and threw it to the floor. It smashed and broke into numerous pieces. He went to his phone to do the same but saw that his laptop was back on his desk in perfect condition. His dating profile open to the inbox which was filled with new messages. Mark couldn't help but take a look. They were all filled with "Hey baby" and "Damn you're sexy". Nothing even remotely civil or nice. These guys were treating Melissa like a slut... because she was one. No! Mark slammed the laptop shut and stepped back only to trip onto his bed. He landed on it but felt that his ass had absorbed the most of it. He turned over and saw that it was now enormous. "I didn't want this!" He felt a tingle in his groin as his penis slowly withered away as it was replaced with a wet but well manicured vagina. Mark started to feel funny. He felt heavy in the chest and sure enough two D breasts slowly rose out of him. "No, I didn't even want to use Tinder. Please don't change me into her! I don't want to be a slut! I just wanted a girlfriend! I just wanted..." Mark suddenly felt different, almost lighter. All of what he was concerned and focused on before was gone. All that was worrying her now was what, or who, she was doing tonight and what she was going to wear. Melissa laid in her bed. It was Friday night and no one had asked her out! Was she not pretty enough? She was certainly horny enough, why hadn't any guys messaged her yet? She looked to her phone next to her and opened up Tinder. Her profile was good but it was missing something. A catchy picture. She thought for a second and then figured what she'd do. She lifted the phone up above her and covered her bare tits with her free hand. She smirked and took the picture. No that didn't come out right. She tried a few more times and finally found the right one. Quickly she added it to her profile and began swiping right on only the hot guys. In no time she had a bunch of matches. The first one was from some sort of ripped jock named Derek who messaged "I don't know what your initials are but mine are DTF". She replied "Really?" He quickly responded with "Oh yeah you know it." Melissa smiled and responded with "We'll why don't you come over here and prove it, here's my address. I'll be waiting". She closed the phone and stood up. Now, what was she going to wear when this guy showed up. After all she wanted to make it hard for him. That was half the fun.

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