How to Pronounce Pornographic(usually

How to Pronounce This lesson covers the following topics: Conditions Devices Conditions The following table lists power conditions you should be familiar with: Condition Description Surge Over-voltage that lasts seconds Spike Over-voltage that lasts milliseconds Sag Under-voltage that lasts milliseconds Brownout Under-voltage that lasts seconds (lights may dim) Blackout Complete power failure Devices The following is a description of devices used to prevent power problems: Device Description Surge suppressor A surge suppressor conditions power so that over-voltages don't reach devices. Surge protector A surge protector protects against over-voltages by switching a device off before an over-voltage can damage it. A power strip provides multiple power outlets from a single plug-in but is not necessarily a surge protector. Surge protectors can be destroyed by surges and lose their ability to protect. Consider using a surge protector with an indicator light to show whether it is working correctly. Line conditioner A line conditioner modifies the power signal to remove noise and create a smooth alternating current (AC) signal. Standby power supply (SPS) A standby power supply is an offline device that switches over to provide power when an under-voltage occurs. If the switchover is not fast enough, the computer loses power. Uninterruptible power supply (UPS) An uninterruptible power supply is an online device that is constantly providing battery power to the computer and being recharged by the wall outlet. There are two types of UPS systems: An online UPS constantly powers the computer from the battery. An offline UPS powers the computer from the wall power. When the power fails, a switch inside the UPS switches to power the computer from the battery. This is the most common form of UPS. UPS size is measured by the volt-amp (VA) rating. The capacity of the UPS determines the number of devices and how long the devices can run when power is interrupted. When purchasing a UPS, purchase one with enough battery power to power only critical devices such as the computer and a single monitor. To reduce the amount of power required by the UPS, do not plug non-critical devices into the UPS. Laser printers require more power than most UPS systems are capable of providing. For this reason, you should not connect a laser printer to a UPS. If you must provide power to a laser printer, get a dedicated UPS for that device. A UPS is designed to provide enough power to shut a system down safely during an extended power outage. Most are not intended as long-term power solutions. The UPS connects to the power source (usually a wall socket), the computer plugs into the UPS, and the UPS is connected through a serial or USB port to the computer. Software on the computer uses this connection to monitor battery life and to detect when the regular power is lost. You can configure the software to shut the system down automatically when the battery charge reaches a certain level. You usually need to configure the following settings when working with UPS software: Time to wait before sending a warning to clients. Time to wait before beginning a shutdown. Name of programs or commands to run during the shutdown. In addition to providing power when the power is lost, most UPS systems also condition the line and remove power spikes and sags. Most UPS devices sound an alarm when the AC power is lost. This alarm continues until AC power is restored, although many UPS devices have a switch to mute the alarm. During certain conditions, such as an electrical storm or when the power supply is constantly going up or down, you might need to unplug the computer to protect it. Simply turning it off might still damage the components because some power remains supplied to the system. In the case of an electrical storm, keeping the system plugged in leaves it susceptible to power spikes.

How to Pronounce I thought it warranted a response from me. I have always toed the line of "edgy" humor when it comes to my online presence. Over the last 5 year, I've developed a more sarcastic, blunt, and satirical personality. There's nothing about what I've done publicly that I have tried to hide, or delete, or claim ignorance to. I take full responsibility of all I've said and all my actions. I can proudly say that I'm someone who is really open about my life in a space where many hide, not because they are bad people, but because people on the internet love judging and backseating a streamer's life. Someone emailed me a list of problematic things I've done in their eyes and that's making the rounds in the "twitter stan" circles, and normally I would say: "just don't watch my content" - not in a dismissive manner, but simply as, this is just my humor. But it has been brought to my attention that there are literally people crying about it, and even dragging the people I care about (namely my friends in OTV and Amigops) into it by pressuring them and condemning them for interacting with me. Shit on me all you want, but I always draw the line at attacking my friends. So let's take a look: 1. "He's a racist" - In an OTV video from 2 years ago where we did a Don't Laugh challenge, in an attempt to get a subject to laugh, I read out a race joke off a website. It was all bleeped out, but if you go looking for it - you'll find the full version. People seem to think this means I support racism even through my words and actions during the BLM protest, it's clear that I condemn it - even being attacked by people for using my platform to speak up against racism. It's an offensive joke I made to get a reaction from the participant. Trying to educate me that it's offensive has no weight because we all knew it was offensive, that's why it was censored. Is it tasteless, sure you can say that - but it doesn't make me a racist. As someone who was spat on for being the quiet Asian kid in school, being called Jackie Chan all the time, hearing "ching chong" when I go out to eat at a restaurant - I have experienced racism myself. This obviously doesn't make me immune to being racist, but reading an offensive joke doesn't make me one either. 2. "He's a racist off-stream" - In a podcast with Destiny, I mention that privately, streamers say and do things that the public would find distasteful. This is the truth. There's a reason why the majority of streamers keep their lives so private, and try to only show the positives of their lives to their audience. This is really important to understand - you only see what the streamers show you on stream. You don't know what they are like when the cameras are off besides stories and testimonies from people who actually know them. When I say I make racial jokes off-stream, this does not mean I walk around the OTV house dropping slurs left and right. It means occasionally, say we are discussing the next member of OTV, I would say "ARE THEY ASIAN? BECAUSE WE ARE TOO ASIAN. WE SHOULD DIVERSIFY WITH A WHITE/BLACK GUY!". Obviously, we don't pick member based on race - does that mean everyone in OTV deserved to be cancelled and forced to apologies for NOT then running to Twitter and publicly condemning what I said in private? No. 3. "He promotes pedophilia" - During a game of pictionary, the prompt was "illegal" and I drew a stick figure of a young girl, obviously meaning pedophilia is illegal. Some people tweeted at me saying that I want to have sex with children because of it. Some people say they just find it tasteless. Tasteless, I understand - again it just goes back to my "edgy" sense of humor. I don't support pedophilia (I can't believe I have to even say that) and it honestly surprises me that some stans are trying to cancel me for this one. The prompt was "illegal", I'm pretty sure it's clear that even with the worse opinion of me, people can recognize that I'm saying pedo = bad. 4. "I'm a rape advocate" - This one bothered me the most because the others I can understand to some degree of people just thinking my humor is crass and tasteless. Coincidentally, this one is the one where the email didn't bother including any VODs or clips, just a recollection that I said “when a women says no don’t let that stop you cause she doesn’t really mean it anyway, just keep going” - I genuinely do not remember saying this and am surprised that people didn't even bother checking the VOD for it before just blindly accepting it. I do recall saying something along the lines of "if a girl says no, just keep asking till she gives in" - as in keep bothering a girl if she turns you down. And obviously, I hope people have enough social understanding to see that it was sarcastic - as I did it in front of my two close female friends who I know will respond accordingly "TOAST NO, DONT TEACH THEM THAT". When I make satirical commentary, I usually say something purposely ignorant because I know there exists men that do think that way - and I do it in front of people I know who would react in a manner that shows that this line of thinking is not okay. I know doing so without a foil or friends to play the straight role, some fans might actually think I was being serious - which is why I always make sure that it's clear that what I'm saying is stupid. For this particular conversation, I also remember not finishing my sentence and immediately backtracking on it because I realized in the moment that some people might take it the wrong way since I didn't properly convey it. I recognize that rape and sexual assault isn't something to joke about, I like to think my actions during a period of time where friends of mine did go through such trauma shows how seriously I take it. It was a joke about how creepy men can be. I don't think it is fair to label me as a "rape advocate", especially while not showing any clips or VODs of the moment. 5. "He thinks there's nothing wrong with using the R slur" - This one is a complete head scratcher because I don't ever use the R slur, and I am really aware of why it's a word that shouldn't be used, which is why I've never used it in any of my stream or video for the last several years. The email claimed that I said this on a recent stream, but again, doesn't show the clip or VOD of me saying it. It really does break my heart to see people just eat all of this up without asking for at least the clip or context. They just see that the first 3 points had a video so they assume the second two points are valid without needing proof. I even recently did a stream saying how I specifically refrain from using the word despite it being "allowed" by other streamers. And final note, someone said I was specifically attacking some Twitter user when I talked about cancel culture on stream recently and to this I can only say: I have no idea who they are. I usually talk in generalizations of what I see or what people tell me. My friend showed me the profile and I had no idea what was going on, but this person was claiming I was specifically attacking them and that I called them a child. This goes back to what I have always said about parasocial relationships. The stans will try their best to insert themselves into a streamer's life to an unhealthy point, that this person thinks that I, Disguised Toast, was talking about THEM, this special individual. When I talk about children stans trying to cancel people, I'm referring to the toxic ones who tell anyone who disagree with them to kill themselves and are only interested in getting an apology as some kind of victory. If you're not a child throwing a tantrum on twitter, if you're respectfully voicing your opinions like the thread author here - I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU WHEN I TALK ABOUT TOXIC STANS. Take one look at my mentions and you can find the people that I AM talking about. Moving forward, I will try to be a lil bit less edgy. But that type of humor is something I grew up with and do personally find humorous. Similar to Michael Scott's character from The Office or Joey from Friends - it's clear when they make ignorant remarks that they ARE ignorant remarks, and the reaction from the other characters make it clear on that. That's what I try to satirize in my content whenever I do make jokes rooted in racial or sexual nature. If you take it at face value, without context, without knowing me - I can understand why I might come off as a bigot. But even if you don't respect me, at least respect the opinion of the people around me, my peers, people who known me for years. Know that they wouldn't stand for any bigotry or racism or sexism because we hold each other to a very high standard. To the original message author: thanks for taking the time out to properly convey how you feel.. I do apologize to the people who were hurt by my jokes. If you watched my Among Us lobbies, my concern is always whether or not being are having a positive experience, its the same with my fans. With so much new fans coming in from the recent blowup in our friend circle, I'm sure several of them weren't aware that I had a very edgy, dry, sarcastic sense of humor that can definitely be offensive at times. And at the end of the day, if you are uncomfortable with my style of humor, then it's best not to watch me. I will try to be more considerate, but I expect to still make the occasional edgy joke here and there. The one thing I ask is to leave my friends alone. They are wonderful people that don't deserve any hate for associating with me. Boycott my content, cancel me, whatever - but don't drag them into it by pressuring them or demanding an apology from them just because we play games together. (Final thing, if you use my friends' faces as your twitter profile picture or their names in your handle, and you go around attacking other fandoms or use it to cause drama between fan bases - change it. Grow the fuck up. You give them a bad name and they don't deserve that. This goes double for any of my own fans because I've taught you all better than that.)

How to Pronounce I was woken by an embarrassed giggle. “You’re not supposed to be awake. I must be really bad at this. Maybe I should try another time?” I looked toward the silhouette of a girl standing in front of the window, the curtains breathing softly behind her. I tried to stay calm but I could feel a twinge of panic as I addressed her form “Who are you? How did you get in my room?” “Ah, of course,” I heard her voice drip with a playful tone, “I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Lilie, and I am a succubus.” My eyes had adjusted to the darkness now and I could see her full figure now. If this was a cosplay, it would be a really well done one. Her purple outfit seemed to accentuate her curves and the empty space between the criss-cross of fabric proudly displayed her cleavage and pale belly. Her thighs seemed to glow in the basking moonlight as the flesh was highlighted between her tiny bottom and stockings. Topping off her somewhat immodest dress were two tiny little horns that snuggled atop her red hair and the soft movement of her wings and tail behind her peeking out from the cutouts in her clothes. “I’m sure you’ve heard of us succubi,” Lilie continued as she slowly walked towards me, one leg in front of the other, crossing them slowly and deliberately as she inched forward, “As a succubus we have sex with humans as our nourishment, but we usually do so in their dreams, when they’re asleep. It seems I’ve screwed up this time.” She was inches in front of me now as she ran a finger from my waist up to my neck. “But I wonder how it’ll feel if my prey is conscious.” I felt myself pushed up against the wall as Lilie slowly ran a finger from my waist upward until it rested at my neck. I could almost feel a twinge of electricity at the path she traced. Lilie’s coy smile curled into a smug grin as she leaned up on her toes to bring her face closer to mine. I could hear my heart beat as I stared down at her face illuminated in the moonlight. Her batting eyelashes seemed to tease me. I swallowed to try and regain my composure but all I could hear was my pounding heart and smell the soft fragrance of some kind of fruit I couldn’t recognize. It felt like I was staring at her face for hours before either of us broke the silence. “What’s wrong? Are you afraid? If you are, why don’t you just try closing your eyes?” Lilie’s playful giggle seemed like a command and I could feel my eyelids descending as her face got closer and closer… It started with a warm softness pressed up against my lips. I could feel her tongue testing and caressing my lips-inviting them to open which I did with a bit of hesitation. I was surprised by the almost forcefulness of her tongue as it entered my mouth exploring every inch of mine, forcefully overwhelming me. I could feel myself blanking out as I tried to get a breath… Lilie let out a satisfied breath, licking her lips. Somehow after that exchange I was now lying on my bed with her seated atop me. Where she was sitting was no accident and she made sure to demonstrate that. “Mmm, yes,” Lilie whispered, licking her lips as she rocked back and forth grinding herself on me, “We succubi sometimes need an offering, just some bodily fluids from a human to start this process. It lets us get to intimately know someone’s thoughts so that we might transform into what they desire most. Now let’s see what is it that you desire.” I could feel myself getting harder and harder but Lilie made no effort to either stop or speed up, continuing her process of rubbing herself on my erection, occasionally twisting and gyrating her body in such a way that made me want to burst. “Yes, yes,” Lilie continued, smacking her lips a little, “I think I have a pretty good idea of what you’re into now. And now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I think I’m going to have my way with you n-” Lilie was no longer sitting upright on me but now on top of me. “Huh? Why can’t I move? What’s-” I could see Lilie’s look of surprise as she looked at her shoulders which were now completely smooth and devoid of arms. “My arms! Where are my arms?!” Lilie gave a startled scream and tried to push herself up but only succeeded in pressing her breasts against my chest as she squirmed and struggled. “I-is this what you’re into? Armless girls? Really?” In her attempts at getting up Lilie only succeeded in rolling herself off of me. I took this opportunity to move and be the one pinning her down now. “T-this is definitely a first for me, I didn’t expect something like this would happen at all!” Lilie let out a frustrated half groan, half moan. I watched as her shoulder moved a little as if she was trying to hide her face which was getting redder and redder with a blush. “Well, I guess I don’t mind it too much, as succubi are willing to go to any lengths to satisfy their...prey, but being armless like this, I feel so helpless and it’s honestly making me feel a bit weird...hey, stop staring at me like that! Do you like seeing an armless girl like this? Wait, you do! You do! Stop giving me that look, it’s as if I’m the one that’s the prey now!” The straps from her top had now fallen loose with nothing holding them up, her top was sliding off to reveal her breasts and one nipple was already almost out. “Well? Are you going to just keep staring at this armless succubus or are you actually going to do something about this helpless girl in front of you? You do know I still have my legs right?” As if to remind me, she pressed up her foot against my still stiff member and gave it a playful tease. As I bent down to pull her bottom off, I was stopped by her resting foot on my head. “Wait, before you do that, come up for a moment.” I stared at Lilie’s beautiful face nestled between two smooth armless shoulders. “Oh this is totally embarrassing since I don’t have arms and can’t do it myself but...before that, can you, um, can you kiss me again?” I didn’t need a second thought. Once again I felt myself her tongue wrap against mine, her armlessness evidently not changing her personality while kissing. As I felt my tongue melt into hers, Lilie had also wrapped her remaining limbs, her legs, around me, pulling me closer and closer into her. There was that same fiery passion as before that threatened to drag me in and consume me completely. I took a moment to catch my breath as I slowly lifted my lips from hers, a thin strand of saliva still hanging for a fraction of a second before falling away. We stared at each other in silence for a while as I listened to the soft sounds of Lilie’s breathing before she tightened her leg lock and leaned her small body closer to me as she whispered into my ear, “You better take responsibility for making me like this. Especially now that I’m totally helpless.” I could no longer feel Lilie’s legs wrapped around my waist as they too had now disappeared. Lilie looked smaller than ever as she wiggled on the bed with her clothes dangerously close to falling off her tiny frame. Pulling off her bottom was seamless as they slid off her smooth legless hips revealing her soft lower lips. I brushed aside her tail that she tried in vain to cover herself with and stared at my prize. It seemed to be swelling and pulsing as if it was crying out for me, and as I reached to bring my hand closer- “Come on! You’ve stared enough already! Do you know how embarrassing this is? Being limbless and revealed like this?” Lilie’s pussy seemed to twitch as she wiggled on the bed in frustration. “Fuck me already!” Lilie was silent as I prepared to enter her but she surprised me by suddenly shifting her weight so that I was plunged into her all at once. I heard a sharp uptake of air before Lilie let out a very satisfied breath that was almost a moan in pleasure. Lilie was warm, very warm, and being within her was like being in a fire that caressed and licked at me in waves of pleasure. It felt like I could feel her very heartbeat pounding and echoing through her as I was inside her. “C-come on, don’t just stand there, y-you’re fucking me remember?” Lilie stammered through her words a bit, “Use me like I’m the limbless fucktoy that I am now!” Indeed, Lilie’s tiny body was very reminiscent of a fucktoy, with no arms and legs but only her pussy adorning the end of her smooth and legless hips. I put my hands around her smooth shoulders and started moving. Each thrust seemed to reverberate pulses of pleasure between the two of us. “Yes! Yes! Yes! Fuck me! More! Use me!” Lilie’s moans of pleasure echoed in my ears as I continued to user her soft supple body. Her tiny limbless body seemed hypnotic as it constantly drew me in and out of her. “W-wait,” Lilie managed to blurt out, “Do you think you could, um, pick me up?” To say she was light would be an understatement, but I was still surprised that I was now staring at the limbless succubus that was resting on my cock. “I’ve always wanted to try doing something like this, but I don’t have arms or legs right now so I can’t even put them around you. Do you think I can-? Hmmm, maybe…” I could see her starining her shoulders. She was trying to move her tiny wings so that they could reach me from behind her. It was a bit embarrassing feeling myself getting even harder inside her as I watched her struggle. “Don’t worry about it,” I said, as I put my arms around her, “I’ll just hold you enough for the both of us.” I squeezed her into a deep hug as I continued to fuck her. Lilie’s wings flapped energetically as I watched her face deep in ecstasy. Lilie’s tail was also whipping back and forth, and I couldn’t help but reach a hand around it, grabbing one of her remaining body parts. Lilie let out a yelp and I could feel her immediately tighten up, clamping down on me with such a force that I didn’t even have time to react before exploding inside her. “Hehe~” the limbless succubus whispered as she lay on top of me, “thanks for the meal~” ************************************************************************************************************* It was not the sun that woke me up, but the soft rustling of sheets next to me. I watched as Lilie tried to brush the hair from her face with a tiny arm stump. “You’re still here? I thought succubi were the demons of the night.” I yawned before brushing aside the lock of hair that was on her face. Lilie’s eyes slowly blinked a few times before focusing on me. “Well, maybe if someone wasn’t weird and liked amputee girls I could have actually left!” Lilie examined her tiny stumps, barely a few inches long. “Even after all that last night I haven’t even regrown my limbs up to the joints! Ugh! This is all your fault you know!” Lilie flopped onto me with the vantage granted by her tiny leg stumps. “Since this is all your fault, you better be responsible and feed me a lot more! Got it?”

How to Pronounce It was the end of the day and Mark was a bit tired but eager to get on his computer and check the messages on the dating site. In recent days he had sent quite a few messages out to various people and had gotten a few replies. He had done his best to follow up on every single one of them. He wasn't one for Tinder as he was looking for a legitimate, thought out relationship with someone rather than just a quick hook up. Looking at all of the apps that were offered he didn't feel that many were very good. They all seemed to be based around quick relationships and hook ups. Instead he focused his time on building a solid profile and responding on a computer so that he could properly read and respond to each girl. However with the best of intentions things weren't going very well. He went to his messages and found no new replies. Over the course of the last week of the few girls that responded to him fewer and fewer kept the conversation going. Mark had made sure to try different tactics with each one all based on their profiles and messages. The girls that seemed to send longer more thought out messages he went along with and tried his best to have a solid back and forth conversation to get to know them better, these usually lasted a few days before asking for a number or asking them out. The ones with shorter more to the point messages he would jump on within a day. He would even reverse it a few times for good measure. He expected denials but instead would just have the girl drop the conversation entirely, mostly only a few messages in and even before he could ask them out. There was one girl however that he seemed to have hit it off with pretty well, they had been talking for close to a week now and she seemed to share most of his interests and hobbies. It was almost like talking to himself. Earlier in the week he had asked if she wanted to meet up, not long after she had said yes. She went on to say she'd let him know about the weekend. Mark figured if he had to go months of flaky people denying him and ghosting him for one to say yes it might be worth it. However it seemed that he had once again been ghosted. It was Friday now and his last messages to her was on Wednesday saying: "No problem, let me know which day works for you. I'm free the whole weekend and I have a few ideas for places we could go." When she didn't respond to it on Wednesday he followed up with a quick message to try and keep the conversation going in the meantime about one of their shared interests. He had hoped Friday would bring her back to the conversation being the start of the weekend but no. Nothing he could do now, it was pretty obvious the girl on the other side wasn't going to respond. He scrolled through his inbox. It was filled with failures on every level. He closed his web browser and sat there in defeat. He pulled out his phone. Perhaps a change was in order. Maybe he should give apps like Tinder a try, it couldn't hurt. Sure it was more based around hook ups and casual sex but perhaps he could find like minded people on there or try and start something more serious from something casual. He quickly downloaded the app and opened it up. Mark thought to himself, "This is it, right now I'm gonna make a nice, catchy profile but keep it simple. It's going to be good and its going to be appealing. People will swipe right for me and may even initiate the conversation". He opened it up and was prompted to sign in with Facebook. He quickly pressed it and bare bones profile came up. However something was off, where Mark, 27 should be there was Melissa, 22. And instead of his Facebook profile's picture there was a hot blonde in a skimpy dress showing off her big ass with a duck face. Mark couldn't help but laugh, he quickly signed out of it and tried again. However it was the same thing when he signed back in. This was getting weird. He uninstalled the app and reinstalled it. Same thing. What the fuck? As unlikely as it sounded maybe this chick used his phone to check her Facebook and forgot to sign out. He opened up Facebook and sure enough a Melissa account popped up. He scrolled through the account. This girl was smoking hot but didn't have much else going on. Her account was filled with stupid status' ranging from how she can't find the right guy to saying how horny she was. She seemed to have no filter or she was fishing for a fuck. As hot as it was this Melissa was not what Mark was into. Any of his friends would ridicule him for that sort of sentiment but he just wasn't interested. He quickly signed out of the account and attempted to sign into his but was unable. He tried resetting his password but it said his email didn't match any accounts. What was going on? During all of this Mark didn't take notice that he was beginning to change. Fixated on trying to troubleshoot his social media problems he had failed to realize that his hair was now the same color blonde and was slowly inching down towards his shoulders. Mark shut his phone off and turned it back on. Before he could do anything Tinder reopened to this Melissa's profile. There were more pictures now of her. They were all very seductive or slutty ranging from her laying ass up on a beach in a small bikini to her taking a selfie in a bathroom mirror in nothing but a towel. Mark was getting a little nervous something was going on. He put his phone down and stood up, that's when he felt his hair hit against him. He quickly moved his hand and felt it. Immediately he ran to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. Starring back at him was the face of Melissa. Holy fuck! How could he not have felt this? His face was now so soft, so clean. His eyes were now light blue and surrounded by eyeliner. His lips were small but plump, a light pink lipstick on them. This wasn't good, this couldn't be happening. How was this possible? Suddenly he felt a slight tingling in this throat and before he could figure out what it was his Adam's Apple was gone. Mark knew what that meant. He had to do something. Tinder! That's what was causing all of this, at least it was what likely started it. He ran back to his phone which now was in a pink phone case with a tassel of beads hanging from a small loop on one of the corners. He picked it up and opened it. His background was now Melissa on a beach hugging another girl. Both of their breasts pushing up against one another. No! Mark thought, this has to stop now! He pressed down on Tinder and deleted it. The icon disappeared only for it to reappear immediately. He tried again, it just kept reinstalling. Shit this was bad. He suddenly felt like his view was lowering, sure enough he was losing height. He went from 6'1 to 5'4 in a matter of moments. What can I do? I need to do something! Mark thought to himself. Panic was beginning to set in. An idea. He quickly went to his computer and woke it up. His background another slutty beach picture. He went to his dating site and sure enough his account had changed also to that of Melissa's. He quickly read through her information. This girl was only out for sex. Her profile told basic information about her. She worked at a salon and in her spare time loved going to bars, dancing, clubbing and concerts. He scrolled down to the looking for section "guys ages 21-40 for new friends, sex and short term dating. Mark began to really panic now. Quickly he tried to edit the page info back to his old one but each time he finished a section and saved it would revert back to Melissa's. He opened up Tinder again and her profile was filled out now. Heyyyy I'm Melissa. I work at a salon and am an expert at all things makeup. I lovvveee going to clubs, bars and concerts. I'm just a party girl at heart :) <3 Give me your best pickup lines. Buy me drinks and take me to a show and I promise to make it up to you ;) If you treat me right your biggest concern should be your place or mine? As Mark read this he felt his whole body begin to burn. It was getting really hot and his clothes started to hurt on his skin. He tried to resist it but relented after a moment. Quickly he stripped all of them off and felt immediate relief. To his horror though as he looked down he couldn't see a single hair on his body. His legs and arms were now slim and smooth and he had a perfect hourglass figure. He looked up and saw that his room was now adorned with girls clothing, makeup and pictures of Melissa and her friends. "No! No! Stop, please stop!" Mark picked up his laptop and threw it to the floor. It smashed and broke into numerous pieces. He went to his phone to do the same but saw that his laptop was back on his desk in perfect condition. His dating profile open to the inbox which was filled with new messages. Mark couldn't help but take a look. They were all filled with "Hey baby" and "Damn you're sexy". Nothing even remotely civil or nice. These guys were treating Melissa like a slut... because she was one. No! Mark slammed the laptop shut and stepped back only to trip onto his bed. He landed on it but felt that his ass had absorbed the most of it. He turned over and saw that it was now enormous. "I didn't want this!" He felt a tingle in his groin as his penis slowly withered away as it was replaced with a wet but well manicured vagina. Mark started to feel funny. He felt heavy in the chest and sure enough two D breasts slowly rose out of him. "No, I didn't even want to use Tinder. Please don't change me into her! I don't want to be a slut! I just wanted a girlfriend! I just wanted..." Mark suddenly felt different, almost lighter. All of what he was concerned and focused on before was gone. All that was worrying her now was what, or who, she was doing tonight and what she was going to wear. Melissa laid in her bed. It was Friday night and no one had asked her out! Was she not pretty enough? She was certainly horny enough, why hadn't any guys messaged her yet? She looked to her phone next to her and opened up Tinder. Her profile was good but it was missing something. A catchy picture. She thought for a second and then figured what she'd do. She lifted the phone up above her and covered her bare tits with her free hand. She smirked and took the picture. No that didn't come out right. She tried a few more times and finally found the right one. Quickly she added it to her profile and began swiping right on only the hot guys. In no time she had a bunch of matches. The first one was from some sort of ripped jock named Derek who messaged "I don't know what your initials are but mine are DTF". She replied "Really?" He quickly responded with "Oh yeah you know it." Melissa smiled and responded with "We'll why don't you come over here and prove it, here's my address. I'll be waiting". She closed the phone and stood up. Now, what was she going to wear when this guy showed up. After all she wanted to make it hard for him. That was half the fun.

How to Pronounce According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

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